i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Randomize
