would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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