im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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