You can't motorboat a personality
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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