Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I just forgot I was standing up.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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