out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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