Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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