i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
