Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
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