Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I have post one night stand depression
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