Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
