Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Randomize
