it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
