dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Randomize