my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
She even gives head with a lisp.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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