uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
