I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
We were destined to go to rehab together
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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