that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
