Midget sex pt 2 tonight
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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