just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
