His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
