I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
