just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize
