I must be too annoying 4 u.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
