Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
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