You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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