My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
