its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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