how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
