dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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