the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
