he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
