So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
