like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize
