dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
