Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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