i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize
