i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
