i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize