Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
worst night to have a conscience
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
