how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
whose parrot is this?
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
