My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
