I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
