:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
