i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
