Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
