found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I will die if light touches me.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
