So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
