how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
