David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
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