i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
