remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Randomize
