so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I enjoy the company of your penis
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
