All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
