it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
