i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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