If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
