He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
