I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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