fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
