My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
He felt like a one man threesome
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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