Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
